Mr Christmas

Across algorithmic feeds all over the internet, content short form and long, you can find The North Pole’s “operations” livestreamed to general punters curious from December 1st to December 24th what happens inside Santa’s workshop. It is, of course, all for show. The mechanised manufacture of toys at the scale that satisfying the world’s children requires cannot be contained inside a single gingerbread house no matter how large or authentic (some of the elves take bites from the walls and doors as what seems like proof but comments swirl in more cynical circles that they might just have the well-rehearsed taste for thin MDF).

Camembear

Bear with me.  This is translated from provincial Norman, handwritten by farmers, into modern English. It’s not a tale like the Canadian Winnie. Instead this bear had fur as brown as its heart was black, furious and jealous and maniacal about its boundaries deep in the heart of Normandy near the northern French coast. The… Continue reading Camembear

A Pineapple Pizza Coup

Pizza is as good as old food can get. Attested there in the dying days of the first millennium AD, it’s lasted as long as fresh new ingredients can be found to layer on top of a flat bread with sauce, then topping, then cheese, roughly. Of course tastes change but never has it been… Continue reading A Pineapple Pizza Coup

How To Pack A Dishwasher

It's not so complicated but there are a few simple rules to follow to make it easier on yourself and your household and the dishes too — because this is the way they like it. It’s uncommon knowledge that they negotiated fair and square in the postwar boom of the 1950s, when utilities in the… Continue reading How To Pack A Dishwasher